We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
[Marianne Williamson]

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Here comes the sun

It is Sunday, so here I am! I lost 400 grams this week, down to 78.6 kgs so I have earned my blogging day - though I won't get as much of it as I deserve due to this nasty toothache! I finally got to sleep at 4am this morning. That meant getting up at 5am - even for the temptation of blogging - just wasn't going to fly lol. However, the boys went sweetly off to sleep for me this afternoon (after a few minor tempests) and my tooth is giving me a momentary respite (which I should probably be taking advantage of by catching up on some sleep, but anyway...) HERE I AM!

And now for the promised explanation of my plans for 2010 and what I am up to :D

You remember my 3 critical happy factors - the three things I must achieve to count 2010 as a success?

1. Reach my goal weight.
2. Qualify as a barrister.
3. Become 'baby ready'.

Well, I've sat myself down and I've worked out why I want them and what I have to do to achieve them. Some were easier than others. Actually, the hardest was number 3 - baby ready - so I'll deal with that first.

The reason this was so hard to quantify and plan for is because it is so ambiguous (what does baby ready mean? Before my first son, Wombat, we sat down, had a serious discussion, decided we couldn't possibly afford to have a baby, and conceived him that night. Now there is planning for you!)

There's also the problem that this goal is dependant on achieving goal 1 (losing weight & getting fit) and in almost complete conflict with goal 2 (becoming a barrister). What to do? What to do?

So I forced myself to break down my desire, my vague yearning, into its base components, and then I broke those down and broke the results down until I reached rock bottom and had some clearly defined, achievable, positive steps to take that I could start on right away and would assist me in being baby-ready without needing to know when the actual baby might theoretically arrive.

It all eventually came down to one quote:

Like the sun rising
over the mountains of the Lord
is the beauty of a good wife
in a well-kept home.
(Ecclesiasticus 26:15-16)

At first my feminist hackles bristled, but no matter how I squirmed, I kept coming back to it. That is what I want. It is what I want for my children (both present and future), for my husband, for myself. Even for my 88 year old mother-in-law who rubs me the wrong way, damn it. I want to be that glorious sunrise. That is what being baby-ready means to me!

And so I have dusted off my Home Control Journal (those of you who are FlyLady fans will know what I mean). I have taken to heart the motto I pasted on its spine: "Time is the most valuable thing one can spend." (Theophrastus) I try to get dressed and lace up my shoes as soon as I get out of bed. I start the day with my chores - feeding the pets, hanging the washing (I do several loads the day before and hang them out in the dawn), shining my sink and my little daily adventure in whatever zone I am in today (as per FlyLady's suggestions, I have divided my house into zones, and listed 6 tasks for each zone - one per day, except Sunday - starting at the ceiling on Monday and working down to the floor on Saturday).

It all takes up about an hour of my precious morning alone-time, but it is paying off. Already I can see the changes around me. I am ABSOLUTELY NOT a natural housekeeper. I am the absent-minded professor type who can live in the midst of relative squalor while focussing on the intellectual task at hand and neglecting all else. It is taking a real effort of will to change those habits, but I am doing it, and I am proud of it.

On days like yesterday and today - when I slept in thanks to this toothache keeping me up all night, or when the boys wake up before dawn and won't go back to sleep - I really feel lost because my list hasn't been touched. I don't demand perfection of myself - the idea is babysteps - I just have to make a determined effort on each new day...

Actually, now I've gotten this far, I might end this entry and discuss the other goals next week... the bathroom floor really does need the scheduled scrubbing it didn't get yesterday... and I can hear the chooks squawking as I never did get around to feeding them this morning.

This new-found sense of responsibility is both a blessing and a curse to my procrastinating soul, but you know what - I LOVE IT & I'm not going back!

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