Been a while...

Sorry for the silence, folks... several excuses:

• my new 'qualify as a solicitor' course has started and it is very intensive... I also can't allow myself to fall behind and then spend all day and night for a week catching up before exams & assignments (my previous study habit) as now I have a Wombat to worry about...
• I am redesigning my home website - Fractal Myth - and I am hugely pleased with the results... I will invite you for an inspection when it's finished...
• Wombat is behaving very strangely - not a cheerful Wombat at all! I think the frustration of not being able to communicate his desires is getting to him - he is at the point and grunt and cry if you don't understand him stage. We are having several huge tantrums a day, which is very tiring. Of course, he does seem to be growing a whole LOT of teeth all at once, so there could be a pain factor involved, and I did take him down the street and let a doctor stick a needle into him last week, so he's not entirely sure Mummy has his best interests at heart... especially when she insists on forcing him into a nappy when he wants to run free... or won't let him play with mosquito repellent / broken glass / any other dangerous or poisonous substance that takes his obsession. Tonight he screamed and screamed at the dinner table and I had to take him away - why? He wanted his Daddy's corn-on-the-cob. I had cut some off my cob for him, but he WANTED the whole thing - not to eat, just to examine & play with. Yeti let him explore it for a while, but then took it back. Wombat explodo!!!
• mother-in-law is also frustrating me - she suggested I was being the gestapo the other day because I wanted her to keep her bedroom door closed - there is a leadlight bookcase in there with broken glass panels - she wants to just cover it with contact, but I can see Wombat smashing the whole thing... anyway, while being her usual lovely self, and very sweet to Wombat, she makes me feel like a rotten mother just by being around when he cries - which he's doing a lot. We are talking about moving later this year and getting her a place of her own by the sea, which I think we would all appreciate (though the thought of trying to pack up all our junk while looking after Wombat terrifies me! there's SO much of it!!! I am such a hoarder and Yeti is as bad)

I know every mother goes through these battles, and I know I am what the Baby Whisperer calls a subjective parent who shouldn't take all this so personally... I just get inordinately annoyed at having an audience ;P especially when Wombat has gone from an (almost) angel baby to a holy terror overnight - and I'm pretty sure it's at least partly my fault.

We are going to take Wombat for a picnic today - see if we can cheer us all up a bit.

Anyway, dawn is here and I have to go hang a load of nappies before Wombat wakes up... I also think he is angry with me because I have been getting up early (4-5am) to study, and sometimes if I haven't finished what I am doing, or he wakes up too early and it is too cold to get him up, I leave him to play in his bed for a little while - he has a nice collection of cloth books and stuffed toys there... I never leave him to cry, but on occasion I have let him whinge a little bit, hoping he would go back to sleep... I think this has made him feel a bit neglected :(

Before I go, I was honoured by Alkelda the Gleeful from Saints & Spinners dedicating her most recent example of 'Children's books that never were' to me.

This inspired me to write an entry for her. I don't have time to create a book cover, so this photo will have to do - my first FELT TOY! (I got a big bag of felt scraps cheaply on ebay... I have always wanted to experiment with making felt toys!)

Here is WOMBAT!

(this one is Mummy Wombat - Daddy and Baby Wombat are on their way)

My Wombat stole her from me several times while she was being made, and delighted in bouncing her around by the thread... but when I handed him the finished product, he threw her across the playpen... and when I gave her back to him, he chomped her head - several times :P Maybe I had better attach some elastic to her so he can go back to bouncing her!!!

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Children's Books That Never Were. (Schelle's Contribution)

(Alkelda, you may want to rewrite this - I don't think it's as good as yours! But then, I don't know if you will have heard of Ruth Park's Muddle Headed Wombat series...)

The Extremely Intelligent Wombat by Ruth Park

From the editor:

Dear Ruth Park,

Thank you for your recent submission. Unfortunately, while I think your book has merit, I do not think we can publish it at this time. Our young readers are simply not ready for animal characters which are smarter than they are. It is damaging to their tender self-esteem. I would like to suggest that you consider rewriting your book with this in mind. Perhaps you could call it something like 'The Muddle Headed Wombat'?

If you must have an intelligent character in your story, I would advise making that creature physically inferior in some way. Perhaps something small and ineffectual? A female mouse would be perfect, especially one that complains about her frustrations all the time.

Having a Quoll for the Wombat's sidekick is also a problem. No-one knows what a Quoll looks like, and by the time the book hits the shelves, they are very likely to be extinct. It may be worthwhile considering changing this character to something that children can easily relate to. A cat to go with the mouse is a good idea. This character should also have some trait that allows children to laugh at it. You might make it look scruffy but be very vain about its appearance, for example.

I am sure a writer of your talent will have no difficulty reworking the Wombat's adventures to emphasize his incompetence. It is important for children to feel that they are superior to the natural world and not threatened by it. The world is not ready for a Wombat superhero - though that does raise some interesting marketing possibilities. If you are agreeable to dumbing down your character to suit the tastes of the general public, I may be able to interest our publicity department in producing a range of soft toys to match. This could be beneficial to us both.

Please consider my suggestions. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Garrulous MacKenzie
Junior Editor
Children’s Division
Bunyip Press