Truth and Beauty

Today's Poetry Friday round-up can be found at Farm School.

Wombat has a book of patterns, which he likes me to draw for him and which he attempts to copy. He likes dots and stripes and wiggles, but his favourite pattern of all is a spiral. Looking at pictures of nature in his books, he loves it when I point out the spiral in a seashell or flower. Yeti is a mathematician, and many years ago he introduced me to the wonderous truths of fractals and natural geometry. When I think of truth and beauty, I start spouting Keats and Wordsworth and the English Romantics. Today I thought I'd go looking for some new (to me) inspiration.

Each and All
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

The delicate shells lay on the shore;
The bubbles of the latest wave
Fresh pearls to their enamel gave;
And the bellowing of the savage sea
Greeted their safe escape to me;
I wiped away the weeds and foam,
And fetched my sea-born treasures home;
But the poor, unsightly, noisome things
Had left their beauty on the shore
With the sun, and the sand, and the wild uproar.
...
Then I said, "I covet Truth;
Beauty is unripe childhood's cheat,—
I leave it behind with the games of youth."
As I spoke, beneath my feet
The ground-pine curled its pretty wreath,
Running over the club-moss burrs;
I inhaled the violet's breath;
Around me stood the oaks and firs;
Pine cones and acorns lay on the ground;
Above me soared the eternal sky,
Full of light and deity;
Again I saw, again I heard,
The rolling river, the morning bird;—
Beauty through my senses stole,
I yielded myself to the perfect whole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My personal offering this week is a fibonacci poem.

Fern
frond
tight furled
whorling curled
geometric world
uncoiling mysteries beyond
truth beauty unfolding behold golden spirals turn.

(MW)

13 Things to Love about a Whining Toddler

1. He's so pleased when he learns something new.
2. He gives you the sweetest hugs and kisses (when he's not pushing you away, pulling your nose or thumping you to see how you will react).
3. He's so adorable when he is asleep, and so happy to see you when he wakes up.
4. Everyone makes demands of him, all through the day. Why shouldn't he make some in return?
5. If you think you are frustrated at his inability to communicate, just imagine how he feels!
6. Before you know it, he will be talking - and then you will face a whole new challenge.
7. If you can't work out what it is that he wants, chances are he probably doesn't know what he wants either.
8. His smiles and laughter are made so much brighter in contrast to his grumpiness.
9. He's alive! Just think how empty life would be without him!
10. He's curious about the world and wants you to name everything he points to (not necessarily to hold it in his own little hands - often just knowing what it is called is enough to satisfy him).
11. Distraction tactics usually work - especially if they involve a new book.
12. He'll co-operate if you ask him nicely - 50% of the time, anyway.
13. If you start thinking he'll never grow out of this stage - remember how far he's come already!

This video was taken at the start of June, when a new musical mat arrived - a present from Auntie Steff... Wombat was quite sure it was NOT a good idea. I was surprised, because he normally loves things that make music...



Ten days later, he had conquered his fear - I now get asked for the mat several times a day (this involves pointing at the top of the cupboard where it is stored and saying "buh" - his all purpose word.)



(Sorry about the awful picture quality - they were a bit long so I cropped and optimised them to load quicker.)

A Peg in a Pinch

This is my first 'Works For Me Wednesday' but I hope to make it a regular feature.

Recently, Parent Hacks asked about uses for clothespins.

It has been wet and very cold here lately - and on the rare sunny days I try to get Wombat out in the fresh air as much as possible. Since I also prefer to dry his clothes and nappies on the line, this means letting him wander around and explore while I hang the wash.

The sun was out, but the wind was still fiercely cold. Wombat was well-rugged up, but his hood kept slipping off his head. Ear infections were the bane of his Daddy's childhood, and I really wanted to keep him warm, so everytime the hood slipped off, I would have to stop pegging, run after him and pull it back up again. After this had happened about five times, I realised I had a peg in my hand, and necessity being the mother of invention...



It worked extremely well. He was comfortable, and I was able to get the rest of the washing hung without continuous interruption. So there we have a 'works for me Wednesday' and a 'parenthack' all in one - clothespins (or pegs as Aussies call them) make great emergency clothes-adjusters!



'Works For Me Wednesday' is hosted by 'Rocks In My Dryer'. You can find out how to participate here.

(Of course, I chose the wrong week to join in, since the Americans are taking a break for Independence Day :P but hey, it still works for me!)

Knitty Kitty - in crochet!

This week, I have been making kittens. They are adapted from this Knitted Kitty pattern.* I didn't have any knitting needles, so I tried it in crochet, and I think it worked out quite well.



I had planned on sending it to my newborn niece, and then making another one (in a different - non-pink - colour) for Wombat.



The moment I finished & he realised what I had been making, however, little Kitty was firmly adopted.



First, he hunted around and introduced Kitty to all his other cats - the one in his other hand in this picture is a cardboard cutout from a catfood box - one of his favourite 'toys'...



He then sat down and read his cat book to Kitty...



I am nearly finished making another one for my niece... this one will have a jaunty tail, like the original - Wombat's started out with a raised tail but he has been chewing on it ;P He seems to like chewing on wool when he is teething and Kitty's tail is perfect - it is good Tasmanian Merino wool, so I am not complaining.

I do want to experiment a little more - the crochet leaves a few 'holes' where little fingers could pull the stuffing out. I am going to try washing Kitty in hot water and see if I can get her to 'felt' a bit more - I will then be happier making her as a present for babies.

*The pattern is quite simple and good for a child or novice knitter - however there is a small amount of adult language in the instructions, so you might want to visit and write the instructions down when the kids aren't around :)

A meme and a minor miracle

First, a bit of silly fun - create your own South Park Portrait.



Wombat and I went to Mass yesterday, for the first time in two months - with Wombat teething and the horrible weather, combined with Yeti's dislike of me driving in heavy rain, I just haven't had the chance for ages.

I have a choice of three churches I can attend:

- the closest at 8am is a beautiful old building, but very small and claustrophobic. There is no room for Wombat to sit at my feet, so he has to stay quiet and held on my lap for the whole hour. This means we hardly ever get to stay for the whole Mass, as he gets increasingly wriggly until finally I have to take him outside. It is also very cold at that time of the morning, and I have just gotten Wombat used to sleeping in until 8, so getting him up and ready at 7 so he can sit still amongst a group of strangers is a bit much to ask.

- the second option at 10am is a big church, with a congregation of over 500. There is wonderful singing, but the crowd is really too much for Wombat. He gets scared and refuses to go in the door. If I get him inside he cries. Even if I get him settled, I am not happy, as there are a lot of children there who don't behave in a respectful manner - running up and down the aisles, talking loudly, throwing things, eating constantly. I find it really gives Wombat the wrong message.

- the third option, also at 10am but in the opposite direction, is a very plain, no-frills kind of place - appropriately called St Joseph the Worker. There is no beautiful stained glass. The few statues are simple, with chipped paint. But the congregation is only around 80 people - which while still scary, is survivable for Wombat, and there is a crying room - a small room at the side, separated from the main church by a glass wall, where parents can take children if they get restless so they can still participate in the Mass without disturbing everyone else.

This last church is obviously the best option for Wombat, so that is what I chose - but with a heavy heart, because there would be no singing. For me, music is an integral part of worship. I love singing the parts of the Mass, and the hymns, and Wombat loves it too. As I drove along, I kept praying, "Please, Lord, let there be singing. I know it is a lot to ask, and I really don't expect it, but it would be so nice."

We got to the church, and Wombat - still traumatised from his experience at the big church at Easter when there was over 1000 people trying to cram in for Mass - started pulling back before we even got in the door. I carried him in, but as the seats filled, he started to get upset, so we moved to the crying room, which we had all to ourselves. I noticed with curiosity that there seemed to be more people there than normal, and many of them were of Asian appearance - very unusual in that little rural town, where most of the congregation are retired coal miners & their families.

What do you know! God had arranged for a special visit from a Phillipino choir - just for me! I know it was just for me, because the sound system in the crying room hadn't been turned on. I really had to strain to hear the priest, but I could hear the music and singing clearly. When we went out to communion, I discovered why. The volume in the church was painfully loud. No-one else could have been enjoying the music as much as I was because in the crying room it was muffled to exactly the right level!

It took Wombat about half the Mass to settle down and it was VERY cold in there - he was rugged up, but next week I will make sure he wears his scarf and llama jacket as well. Eventually he relaxed and had a lovely time reading his books and looking at all the people through 'his' window. It helped that we had the room to ourselves. I will be trying to go back there each Sunday so Wombat gets some consistency and gets used to the smaller crowd. I won't expect music next time, but it was very nice to have my prayers answered.

No... I don't think God transported 20 people from the Phillipines that morning just for me - but He is omniscient and omnipotent, so He would have known in advance what I was going to ask and arranged it months ago... I start getting all tangled up in thinking about answered prayers and free will - but perhaps it's like a tree structure - I am standing at point A with, in this case, 4 possibilities stretching out in front of me - three different churches or stay at home - whichever one I choose will have certain consequences and questions associated with it - I guess God just plans for them all!

As Sister Mary Martha would say:

we don't know how it works. We Catholics have a saying for these kind of questions: "It's a Sacred Mystery." "Sacred Mystery" is "Catholic" for "let it go."

So I'll just say - THANKS, LORD!

Hygienic

After I bought my new camera - a Nikon Coolpix 7900 - earlier this year, I became addicted to photo challenges. Then I forced myself to give them up because they were taking too much of my time. I miss them! My favourite was Macroday, so I have decided to continue participating in just that one challenge. I do so love having a camera that takes macro shots ;D

This week's challenge is 'hygienic'.

Here are my secret weapons in the battle for Wombat hygiene - vinegar and bicarb soda.



I use them to clean his highchair & his potty... I use them to clean his bottles and his bath... I even use them washing his nappies (I use bicarb in the presoak cycle to get out any stains, a normal washing detergent in the main wash, and the vinegar in the rinse cycle to remove any soap residue. It also acts as a fabric softener.)

In case you are wondering what you are looking at in the photo above - I poured some vinegar into a saucer & dropped some bicarb in, then photographed the bubbles.

Smart Habit Saturday

For my new habit this week, I have chosen to focus on the phrase "My work is to love."

I keep finding that on days when I remember this quote and hold it firmly in mind, everything goes smoothly & everyone around me is happy. On days when I forget it, I end up in arguments, with myself & with others, and I spread misery instead of cheer.

I would tattoo it on my forehead, but I so rarely look in the mirror these days that I don't think that would help.

I thought of buying post-it-notes and sticking it up on every surface I looked at during the day, but (a) I can't afford to be indulging my stationery addiction at the moment and (b) it would seem like false advertising to my family on the days when my ideal did not match the reality.

Hence my cunning plan - I will make remembering it (and living by it) a habit!

MY WORK IS TO LOVE



SMART habit progress:

• Sacred Space prayer = very good


• Positive Parenting = a work in progress (sometimes up, sometimes down)


• Exercise = atrocious (but hoping to get back on track)

Visit Lara at The Lazy Organizer to join in Smart Habit Saturday - it will change your life! (Find out more about Smart Habit Saturday here: Getting Started with Smart Habit Saturday.)

Poetry Friday

This Friday's Round Up is hosted by Shaken & Stirred.

Winter is definitely here this week, but I have no snow to show, only a lot of cold wind and rain. Wombat and I managed to get out for a bushwalk when there was a short sunny break and I am always amazed how much warmer it is among the trees. This week I am going to share my all-time favourite bush poem. I am quoting it in full as it does not appear anywhere on the internet and I only ever found it in one small anthology. I think it deserves a wider audience!

from 'MAN INTO TREES' for Caroline Kalmar
(William Hart-Smith)

Here, nothing is ever folded
and put away:

leaf, stick, twig, shards
of bark, like shed garments,

are simply dropped when finished with,
and turn to compost where they lie.

Pollen is spilled upon the glass
of a dressing-table top;

earring petals drop
and rust where they are fallen

The floors and walls are damp,
tier upon tier of shelves of stone descend

scattered with gritty pebbles
and glittering sand.

But not a tidy notion troubles
the innocent conscience of this land,

a sweet, sweet odour rises,
a lovely fragrance comes

of spilled unguents, spices,
and aromatic gums.

And now to my own offering - an Alfred Dorn sonnet...

They'll put on party frocks of red and gold,
adorn their limbs in glorious array.
A gaudy show of colour, one last fling,
then, naked, sleep away the winter cold.
In slumber deep they'll dream that soon they may
awaken to the gentle kiss of spring.

But in the bush, that's not how things are done.
Bold eucalypts embrace the winter sun.

She'll swell her trunk and split her skin, unfold
the pearly wood beneath. She'll curl and shred
the dangling, tattered ribbons of the old.
In stormy gales, she'll toss her heavy head.
Where others lose their leaves, she'll keep her hold.
This eucalypt will shed her bark instead!

(MW)

Thankful Thursday

13 wishes for my newborn niece - Analiese

1. May you have a close and loving relationship with your mother and father.
2. May you have good health and a strong body.
3. May you be filled with joy when creating.
4. May you delight in all of God's creation.
5. May your heart sing with faith.
6. May you be quick to smile and slow to cry.
7. May you trust in love and never be disappointed.
8. May you be the best of friends with your sister, all your life.
9. May good friends surround you like flowers in a cottage garden.
10. May you sing and dance in the rain.
11. May you never doubt that you are loved and wanted and needed in this world.
12. May you have big dreams and chase rainbows.
13. May the world be a better place because you are here.

Sweet Baby

It was a quick labour - they left for the hospital around 11:00am and A was born by 3:00pm. S said she was much happier having had a good night's rest - rather than walking around a lake then laying awake all night with contractions as she did with K.

It wasn't all plain sailing, though. A was posterior! S was determined to avoid an epidural this time, and managed with just the gas... I'll leave the full story for her to tell when she gets home.

A is proving to be the opposite of K, who refused to feed and would sleep for hours. This little girl is hungry and will only sleep for 15-20 minutes at a time. S is hoping she will settle down when her milk comes in so that mummy can get some sleep as well. (Lol... Wombat was like that for the first four months!)

I am thinking of getting Wombat a fishtank for our bedroom. He is still having a lot of trouble getting to sleep at night. I have read so many stories about toddlers who refuse to sleep unless their room is pitch black - Wombat hates being in the dark!

Today he had a long nap from 2:30pm until 5:00pm. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he couldn't settle to sleep tonight, even though he seemed very tired. I finally got him to lay down with me at 9:00pm (after an hour of him bouncing around his bed, crying and pointing - I couldn't work out what he wanted - I think his tummy was a bit upset as his breath smelt like curdled milk). Then all night, he slept very lightly. If I moved even a tiny bit he would wake up looking for me. I finally turned the light off at 3:00am when my alarm went off, but it was nearly 6:00am by the time he was sound enough asleep for me to leave. I hope he sleeps in so I get some study done!

I have been looking at night lights but they are all very plastic and ugly. I think a fish tank would help to keep the room warm, and be something soothing and natural to look at. I have a few aquariums around the place, I shall have to see if one will fit on my dresser, or next to it. Then I will only need to get a light and a small filter - they seem pretty cheap on eBay.

Welcome ~ Analiese Rose!

Something different for handmade Tuesday ~ a REAL work of art!!!

It is my very great pleasure to introduce you to a very beautiful little lady ~ and one with a fantastic sense of timing ;)

My little sister, Steff, has just given birth to this lovely creature. We are very thankful that she listened to our prayers and waited until her mother had finished her study course and her grandmother arrived to watch over her big sister, Kaelyn, before making her entrance into the world.

Say hello to Analiese Rose...



Born on Monday at 2:55pm, 8 pound 5.

I just missed Steff's phone call this afternoon, but Yeti said she sounded happy and strong. I was going to call her back but received this very understandable message instead: "Please don't call tonight dead tired will chat tomorrow."

I will bring you more details as soon as I can.

Way to go, darling ~ very proud of you and my adorable nieces!

Parrot Palace and Predatory Plants

A few quick photos for Michelle at Scribbit...

When Yeti builds a parrot cage, he BUILDS a parrot cage ;)

A parrot cage that in an emergency can happily house seven full-grown chooks for a few nights! I wish I had gotten a photo of the chickens all perched together on the branches - but they were quite nervous and I didn't want to disturb them with the flash.

Mitch joined our family about 4 years ago. He is a long-billed Corella, and Yeti picked him up on the side of the road after he had been hit by a car. He must have been very young as he didn't know how to eat seed at the time. I reared him on mush and trained him to eat seed and dig for grass roots - which is what that long beak is for. He was my baby - until Wombat came along, when he developed an immense case of sibling rivalry. I am applying my positive parenting practices to Mitch as well! His wing never recovered from the original accident, and he cannot fly, so he will be with us for a very long time - I believe they live for around 30 years!

And if you want to know WHY I call him the mad parrot... check out this video of Mitch playing with one of Wombat's discarded rubber teething bears!


Michelle also recently posted about her family's newest pet - a Venus Fly Trap.

With all the rain we have had lately, I was very happy to see that our own carnivorous plants are back! These are Drosera, or Sundews - variations of them grow all over the world, and I think they are gorgeous!

Unlike the closing jaws of the Fly Traps, the Sundews secrete a sweet, sticky nectar which attracts insects and then glues them in place while they are digested. (Wombat & I took these photos this morning.)

They have the prettiest, most delicate pale pink or white flowers... I will keep watching and may get lucky enough to get a photo.

Finally, here is a gratuitous photo of Wombat taking his bath turtle out to enjoy the water running into the dam. We collected so much run off in the recent storms that the dam is now full to overflowing. WOOOHOOOO! Wombat really loved stomping around in his little gumboots and listening to all the frogs... until he tried sitting down and discovered it was way too cold to be wearing soggy clothes!

Smart Habit Saturday

My SMART habit this week is daily prayer. I have had this link saved for a while but only ever used it sporadically - I will now want to make a habit of using it daily:

SACRED SPACE

This site is run by Irish Jesuits and provides on-screen guided meditations and a short passage of specially chosen scripture each day. It only takes about 10 minutes to do and always makes me feel wonderful afterwards. Here is an excerpt from the end of today's reading, which turned out to be very appropriate:

So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today.

At the end of the reading, the guided meditation prompts you to ask: "What are you saying to me, Lord?" Sometimes I really have to puzzle over the answer to that - but not today :D

The rest of this post is WAY too longwinded and contains WAY too much information. You are very welcome not to read it!

Positive Parenting: Good. This week I have been concentrating on giving positive feedback and rewards (hugs and kisses) for all the little things Wombat does well, ignoring minor misbehaviour, asking for his cooperation (that really works! It's amazing how much Wombat understands, and how much nicer things can be if I explain what I'm doing and why, and then do it WITH him instead of TO him.)

It hasn't been all smooth sailing - he has suddenly become afraid of the dark - or perhaps it is just the awful teething making it harder for him to settle? We have had some screaming tantrums at bedtime but it seems better for him if I don't turn the light off until after he has been asleep for a few hours. I am going to invest in a night light & see if that helps.

I have sidestepped napping battles by watching for his 'sleep window' instead of insisting on two naps a day (and am getting hardly any work done as a result). I have also sidestepped the nappy changing battle by using a cloth nappy folded into a pad in a pair of training pants - it doesn't work for sleeptimes, but it makes him feel more grown up during the day - and this week he is finally using sign language for potty! (I have been trying to teach it to him for 6 months - ever since he decided he didn't like pooping in his nappy.) All poop goes in the potty now - and he makes the potty sign when he is sitting on it - now the next step is to get him used to the idea of telling me when he feels the need to pee.

(EDIT: When am I EVER going to learn??? Every single time I have made a comment online about my wonderful Wombat consistently pooping in the potty, I will spend that day changing dirty nappies. Every Single Time. I think that boy can read my thoughts...)

One thing I have found in my reading which has really helped is not actually to do with positive parenting, but it has made a big difference. A while ago I read about St Therese and her 'Little Way'. I immediately sorted out some beads from my stash to make a set of sacrifice beads, but never went any further. This week I found myself reading about St Therese again, and discovered we had something in common:

Every time Therese even imagined that someone was criticizing her or didn't appreciate her, she burst into tears. Then she would cry because she had cried! Any inner wall she built to contain her wild emotions crumpled immediately before the tiniest comment.
(Catholic Online: Saint Therese of Lisieux)

I can SO relate to that! I read further and rediscovered her concept of using beads to count her 'little acts of love'. Nothing heroic, nothing huge, just everyday good deeds - making Wombat smile... cleaning up a mess... smiling at my mother-in-law... it doesn't even have to be something you don't like doing - just something God would approve of!

Basically, when you do a good deed, or offer up some little sacrifice to Jesus, you move a bead towards the crucifix. When you do something wrong (grumbling to myself about hanging the washing... losing my temper... leaving a mess for someone else to clean...)* you move a bead back the other way (towards a Miraculous medal of Mary, or a medal of St Therese, or some other saint/inspiration to do better). I have found this really helps me keep track of my day - I don't despair after a bad day, because I know I have done good things as well, and if I am having had a good day, I am also more aware of the little things I do that hurt others. The beads are very easy to make - here are some clear instructions and here is some more information on how to use them.

*(to quote Sandra Boynton's song 'I like to Fuss': "I like to fuss, I like to moan. I like to stand on my chair and say leave me alone... I like to gripe, I like to brood, I like to stomp all around in a truly terrible mood..." - that's the main bad habit that has me pushing beads in reverse ;P )

Exercise: excellent! WOOHOOOOO! I was so inspired and feeling so good about exercise this week that whenever I missed a session, I did double the next time so I could still tick it off. The secret is in setting such small, manageable ten minute sessions! Having said that, I am on hold for this week. It is that time of the month, and I have discovered an unexpected and unwelcome side effect of weaning. While I was breastfeeding, it seemed that my body had finally settled down into having normal manageable periods instead of my usual bloodbath. I was incredibly happy! Now that I have stopped, I am suddenly plunged back into the dark ages of a huge mess and cramps. *sigh* If I'd known that was going to happen... oh well, I guess it's just more incentive to get pregnant again :P (though Yeti insists on us waiting until I am under less study stress...)

The end result is that my exercise plans have ground to a shuddering halt. I have been reaching for the chocolate, and the second spoonful of sugar that I had happily been doing without has somehow crept back into my tea. The big challenge will be taking up where I left off once this week is over - and that is the challenge I have failed in the past. Still, I was really enjoying the exercise this time, and definitely feeling the benefits of it, even if they weren't externally visible. Rather than push myself in a weakened state, I am going to spend a week doing less strenuous stretching activities and make that part of the exercise habit so I can cope with times like this.

SMART habit progress:

• Positive Parenting = good


• Exercise = excellent (but on hold)

Visit Lara at The Lazy Organizer to join in Smart Habit Saturday - it will change your life! (Find out more about Smart Habit Saturday here: Getting Started with Smart Habit Saturday.)

Poetry Friday

Sorry for my absence around here lately - it's been a very cold, very wet week. We've had the chickens living in the parrot cage on the verandah because their shed flooded (good thing Yeti built a huge cage)... the parrot has been living inside because he's scared of the chooks... Wombat is now only napping once a day, and is either exhausted & floppy or overtired & hyper as a result... I am three days late with one assignment and have another due on Monday... and I am still leaking milk & uncomfortable (Wombat, however, seems to have adjusted perfectly well to bottle milk.) But what does that matter now that it is:


I first read this poem in Francis and Clare in Poetry: An Anthology (eds Janet McCann & David Craig).

Saint Francis and the Sow

... sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing its loveliness,
to put a hand on its brow
of the flower
and retell it in words and in touch
it is lovely
until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing;
as Saint Francis
put his hand on the creased forehead
of the sow, and told her in words and in touch
blessings of earth on the sow...

(Galway Kinnell)

And since I am using Poetry Friday as a personal inspiration as well, here is one from me... My Dad sent me a pile of his nature photos and suggested I write poems for them so we could publish a book together. That was several years ago. I am hoping that Poetry Friday will provide the regular incentive I need to finish writing the project. This is my favourite so far:

Brother Tree Frog ~
no saintly caress needed
to remind you of your innate glory.
Clad in emerald splendour
you squat in plump contentment,
considering
a closer relationship with
Sister Mosquito.

(MW)

Today's Poetry Friday Round-up is thanks to cloudscome at a wrung sponge.

Handmade Tuesday - crocheted hat

Those who have followed Baby Wombat's adventures from the start will be more than familiar with his crocheted hat. We bought it for him during the closing down sale of a local teddybear store, so there was no chance of replacing it. Wombat LOVED this hat. He always wore it without complaint, it won him many many smiles and compliments - particularly from little old ladies - and it was his faithful companion on all his adventures - warm enough for his first winter, with just enough brim to keep the sun out of his eyes.



But little boys, as we all know, GROW. And crocheted hats unfortunately do not. The sad day came when Wombat's hat would no longer fit. It was summer at the time, and he had plenty of replacement sun hats, so it didn't matter much. Then winter came along and I decided that I would put my limited crocheting skills to the test, and MAKE him a new hat. I studied the construction of the old one, counted all the stitches, and set to work. It took a long time to get the crown right - I had to unravel it about 20 times and start afresh before I was completely satisfied, but finally I worked it out. Once the crown was right, the rest was pretty smooth going - just a case of getting it long enough, and Wombat was reasonably cooperative about trying it on. He did get a little annoyed with me crocheting when I was supposed to be playing with him though - but that is part of my plan to encourage him in independent play. Here is the finished product:



The blue/green shells worked well at first, but started to look a little dull and boring by the time I got to the bottom, so I added in some of Wombat's favourite red. I had made blue and green flowers as well, but ended up discarding them and making two red flowers instead.



The perfect accessory for a young boy's leaf collecting!



He is not quite as happy wearing it as the original - this one is made of Tasmanian merino wool, whereas that one was a softer acrylic yarn. Mine is also a little big for him at the moment (so it will last a while) and therefore doesn't fit as snugly and swivels around a bit, which he dislikes. I didn't bother making a brim, because my version is mainly for winter. However, the way it rolls up at the edge is enough to keep the sun out of his eyes.



I am not entirely satisfied with it either - I would have liked to work out how to add ear flaps to it, as it doesn't keep his ears as warm or protected from the wind - which he needs this year. As a result he tends to wear a bonnet with a hoodie over the top instead of his new hat when we are around the house - we save this one for wearing out!

All in all, though, I am quite pleased with my first major crocheting project. Anyone who wants the pattern let me know - I didn't have time to type it in this morning.

SMART Habit Saturday

My score for exercising this past week has been 'good' - the goal is 4 hrs 40 mins a week (10 minutes per hour, four hours a day between 3am & 7am - my study time). I managed 3 hrs 40 mins. 'Very good' would be 4 hrs or over, and 'excellent' would be the whole 4 hrs 40 mins. I won't count it as a habit until I can write down 'excellent' for three weeks in a row! But I am pleased with the effort I have put in and I feel better for it.

For this week's habit I had planned something reasonably simple - personal grooming. However, a more urgent need has arisen. I am very hesitant to write further, and I should warn that what follows may be disturbing. I don't know what you will think of me after this, but it is a dangerous tendency and I need to write it out into the open so I can combat it. (Please don't send me hate mail!)

My level of aggression towards Wombat is unacceptable. Most of the time I am his loving, cheerful, entertaining, comforting mummy who will read endless stories, sing endless songs and generally try to be understanding. He is a typical toddler - sweet, loving, cheerful and entertaining, with a stubborn streak a mile wide, a desperate desire to have his own way without actually knowing what he wants, and the ability to push all mummy's buttons at once. I have found myself withdrawing and behaving coldly in response, and when that doesn't work, I have lashed out at him.

After a rainy day together with only one half-hour nap for him in the morning (despite yawning his little head off and rubbing his eyes raw, he wouldn't couldn't fall asleep this afternoon) he was tired, I was tired, his teeth hurt, I had a sore throat from singing lullabies over and over again. He asked me to read a book by pushing it hard into my face. I told him I would, after I changed his nappy. He cooperated with the change, then started crying when I went to put the wet nappy in the bucket. Without thinking, I slapped him in the face with it. That is SO far from how I believe a mother should behave that I am ashamed to type it. What kind of psychological trauma could that cause? Here I am celebrating how much he remembers from his books and the words I teach him, and I go and behave like a cruel bully towards him. It took me a long time to cheer him up afterwards, and this morning he woke up at 2:30 and despite lots of reassuring cuddles, I couldn't get him back to sleep until 4.

He has four pre-molars cutting through at once, and I am sure he is in a lot of pain. He is adjusting to the loss of our breastfeeding relationship. I am under a huge amount of stress from all sorts of directions, and on top of that I am dealing with the hormonal effects of weaning. That's no excuse. A few months ago I read in the newspaper about a couple who had whipped their 4 year old daughter with electrical cord and then shoved her into a boiling hot shower, giving her third degree burns. They were so ashamed of themselves, they didn't take her to hospital until six hours afterwards. All because she was 'refusing' to be potty-trained.

This horrific story stuck in my mind, because at times I can feel how easy it would be to snap like that. I have never gone close, and I think I would never ever ever do such a thing to my beautiful boy. But today scared me. It made me realise that I'm much closer to the edge than I think and that if I don't start stepping back from it now, when things get really challenging I won't be able to cope. Then Wombat will be the one to suffer, not me, and that's a thought I can't bear.

As a result, I have to take responsibility right here and now - and what better way than to make positive parenting a habit? I will try to read something on positive parenting every day & put it into practice. I will also give myself a parenting score out of 5 each day, since I find having a quantifiable goal helps to keep me on track. I have tried to adopt positive parenting in the past, but seem to forget the principles and backslide when the stress builds up. Now it is time to make it a way of life, not just a nice idea! I will remember:

My work is to love.

Here are some links I have found to start my reading:
- Positive Parenting.com
- Positive Discipline.com
- Encouraging better behaviour
- Positive Routine Management (this is the Australian 'baby whisperer' - she has a lot of interesting things to say about communication... I can see I am going to be spending a lot of time re-reading this page & trying to put it into practice.)

Time to go, or I won't get my exercise done this hour. It is cold, pouring with rain, and I don't feel like it, but I do want it to be a habit, so I will "just do it". Hopefully I can apply the same technique to being a better mum.


SMART habit progress:

• Exercise = good

Visit Lara at The Lazy Organizer to join in Smart Habit Saturday - it will change your life!

Poetry Friday

I have read some really fantastic poems by following Poetry Friday links... poems I never would have known existed but which I am so glad to have read. I have decided to join in, but when I went looking for a poem I couldn't decide among my many many favourites.

Then out of the blue, I sat down and wrote one. It has been a long time since the last... I have been in a poetry drought for a while and had thought myself deserted by the muse.

This was especially troubling as my attempts to celebrate Wombat in words had all been quickly consigned to the wastepaper bin, deemed unworthy of keeping.

I kind of like this one - it is not brilliant, but it contains the emotions I want to capture of this time in our lives. I hope you don't mind me sharing it. I'm just happy to finally have a Wombat poem ;D

Resistance is futile

When I finally lose my temper
you laugh.

Flick of fingers
on well-padded backside
just another game no pain.

My tears of frustration
music for your amusement.

I'm not really upset.
Mummies don't cry.
When I try
to lay you down, insisting
on naptime, you cling
to the bedside, a furious limpet
resisting all arrest.

(Your daddy and I
thought we defined stubborn
until we met you.)

Give up.

Turn my back.

Pretend to be asleep. You tug
your special blanket over
tucking me in. I croon
Snuggle puppy.

Eventually you flop
exhausted in my arms.

Sunshine scented, your hair
tickles my nose.

This week's Poetry Friday Round-up is hosted by The Simple and the Ordinary.

(After reading some of the beautiful poems from real poets posted this Friday, I am tempted to delete this as lamentably amateurish. I am leaving it, but only so I remember I need to work on it a lot more!)

Thankful Thursday

I would have made this an official Thursday Thirteen, but I couldn't be bothered working out all the blogroll & reciprocal commenting requirements... I just want to start making a list of positives each week!

1. it is now three days since I last breastfed Wombat. He is officially weaned. He listened to me telling him about babies (& puppies & kittens & calves & foals) drinking mummymilk, and looked at the pictures I showed him, and the pictures of older animals drinking from bowls etc, and he listened while I told him he was my big boy now & would only drink bottle milk from now on, until he was able to drink from a cup like Mummy & Daddy... he loved looking at the photo album that contains weekly photos of him from birth onwards (there are lots of gaps which I must print photos to fill in for him)... I thought he hadn't understood, but when I took him for his first non-feeding nap, he didn't even try to nurse... he didn't sleep either, but I was impressed at his understanding. When I pretended to be asleep to see if he's join me, he tugged his special blankey over & tucked me in (big grin!!!) I think he thought it was just for that nap though, because he got quite upset when there was no feed offered at the afternoon nap. I repeated my explanation of how much I loved my big boy and he wasn't a baby any more, and he stopped crying straight away! It hasn't been smooth sailing by any means, but I think we're over the worst, and it was nowhere near as traumatic as I'd feared.

2. it is raining

3. When I was feeling very sick on Tuesday, Yeti sent me to the doctor (and stayed home looking after a Wombat screaming with separation anxiety while I spent two hours reading Ulysses in the doctor's waiting room - my doc is never on time). Doc gave me fluid tablets - basically they help dry up the milk by pulling any excess stores of water to the kidneys for excretion. It may not sound very delicate, but it's an awful lot more comfortable than engorged boobs (and I want to be able to remember it for next time/advising friends)! It also reduces the chance of infection, which I was worried about - the last thing I need is another bout of mastitis (the way he explained it, imagine a dish of powdered formula and a dish of made-up formula - bacteria is going to grow in the wet stuff, but not in the dry.)

4. Wombat is napping! So he's only having one nap a day, and he's more teary than usual (which is also due to the teeth) but he went to sleep without feeding - only took singing Away in a Manger, Good King Wenceslas, and Morningtown Ride as lullabies! (He really likes Christmas Carols ;P)

5. Wombat is sleeping through the night. He wakes up crying in the mornings while I'm studying, but goes back to sleep before I go in to him.

6. the electricity bill arrived - at $925 it is more than I hoped, but less than I feared - and at least now I know the damage and can pay it & concentrate on saving for the accommodation we'll need for the onsite school.

7. Wombat had a perfect potty day yesterday - dry nappies & full potties all day! (Today has not been so good - but then, I was out teaching this morning & that always mucks up his routine, plus being cooped up inside doesn't help).

8. did I mention it's raining? (we are still technically in drought - though there has been flooding all up the coast in the last week... anyway, washing nappies on tank water means we need all the rain we can get)

9. Wombat discovered that - in the absence of a sandpit - he likes digging in the dirt. I was able to redirect him away from the tree root he was trying to dig out near the chook pen, and convince him to play in my garden - while I weeded! Doesn't sound like much, but the last time I had a chance to weed was before I fell pregnant, so a LONG time ago (while pregnant I was paranoid about coming into contact with cat poop). I had resigned myself to losing my garden completely beneath the jungle of weeds & grass... now I am resurrecting it a little at a time

10. my boxes from officeworks arrived - 20 lovely big archive boxes to play with... now I only have to find time to fill them with all the uni notes stored under the house, and the sewing stuff in the caravan... and find somewhere to stack them... hopefully I can get more organized before we are ready to move house (which may happen in a year or so) - I was going to separate Wombat's toys into daily boxes & rotate them like my sister does, but I realised Wombat doesn't really have enough toys to do that - and he knows all his toys and goes searching through for the one he wants - it is amazing the connections he makes now. He sees a horse in a book and collects together all his toy horses... sees a rooster and points towards our chook pen (from inside, which shows he has a great sense of direction!)...

11. I bought a new book on eBay about making cloth books for children... it looks great & I can't wait to start

12. after paying the electricity bill, & saving for accommodation, I won't have enough left over to buy new 'professional looking' clothes... but I am doing reasonably at making exercise a habit - have done at least 30 minutes every day, so far this week - and even managed the full 40 minutes on two days (that's 10 minutes each hour between 3am & 7am)... if I keep it up, I just might manage to fit into some of the clothes I had to put into storage! Especially since my appetite has decreased now I am not eating for Wombat as well! (His appetite has increased correspondingly - he is now eating almost as much as me each day - if I dropped back to what I was eating before I got pregnant, we'd be eating the same! lol... I'll have to have a highly paid job by the time he's a teenager - he'll eat us out of house & home!!!)

13. it's still raining and Wombat's still asleep (that's two hours!!! can't last much longer)! Tomorrow I will finish Trust & Office Accounting - finally - I have hardly had any time to work this week. But I am holding at only a week behind, which is great!

Handmade Tuesday & more about weaning

I have a pile of things I have made recently (while sitting with Wombat in his playpen) which I want to show off, so I will make Tuesday my day for displaying my handiwork.

Remember the Mummy Wombat I showed you a while ago? (Or guinea-pig, as my niece insisted.) I promised that a Daddy and a Baby Wombat would be forthcoming. Here they are!



I didn't have quite enough felt scraps in one colour, so Daddy Wombat is a combination - as Yeti said, male Wombats often have a darker stripe down their backs. They are still pretty guinea-piggy, though I did try to get the ears into more wombat-like positions.



My Wombat has seen neither real wombat nor guinea-pig, so he does not mind the similarity. If mummy says they are wombats, then wombats they are. (He likes to hold two of them and bump them together... and he giggles when I make them give him 'wombat kisses')

I am quite pleased with how the wombats turned out as my first felt toys, but the real star of the show is Rosie the Hen.



If she looks a little bedraggled, it is because Wombat has already chewed on both her head and her tail!



Not only is she a chew toy, she is also my first FINGER PUPPET! The elastic is a little tight on my finger, because it was made for Wombat - she pecks and 'boks' around with a very satisfying realism. Wombat puts her on his finger and wanders around showing her things ;) couldn't manage to get a photo of him with her, though - he would stop as soon as he saw the camera...



Rosie comes straight from the book Rosie's Walk. This is one of those wonderful books with hardly any text in them - where the parent/reader explains the story as they go - these kind of books are Wombat's favourites. (Another really good one is Hug - I have linked to the Amazon.com pages for these books as they have good reviews. If you are in Australia, I don't suggest buying from Amazon as the exchange rate is a killer - check out the Huggies book club instead - with free postage & member discounts, it is my favourite place to buy Wombat's books.)



Next, I guess Wombat will want me to make the fox! Now that will be a challenge!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In other news, tomorrow I am going to have to tell Wombat that there will be no more mummy-milk from now on.

Since I have started cutting back on feeding him, the boobs have decided enough is enough, and their days of bounteous production are over - for this baby, at least. They ache like a bruise and I feel like I've been belted in the chest. He has been really good about not biting me, but nursing is just not the pleasant experience it used to be.

I wish the timing was better, as he is already upset with his premolars erupting... but I shall just have to try to explain it to him and get his cooperation and understanding. I'm constantly amazed at how much he understands, and the connections he makes between things in his books and things in the real world. He has a number of books with pictures of baby animals drinking milk from their mummies, and slightly older animals eating & drinking from bowls, so I will spend tomorrow discussing those with him and telling him he is not a baby anymore, he is my little boy, and while I still love him very much and that will never change, it is time for us to move on to the next stage.

Of course, I will have to come up with a new way to settle him to sleep. What's your tip for getting Wombat to snooze? Do you have a tried-and-true technique for toddler naptime?

He would much prefer to be giving up nappies! He is pretty much potty-trained for poopies, but he still hasn't worked out how to tell me when he needs to pee - and he is wetting a lot, especially at night and nap time. It is a half-hour struggle to get a nappy on him now :P He cries and squirms off the bed, runs around the room, insists he needs to sit on potty instead, and then bounces off again after a few seconds. I lost my temper tonight and forcibly held him down - once the nappy was on, he was perfectly happy to be dressed in his pyjamas. I guess it's just that with winter here, he doesn't get as much nappy-free time as he would like, since it is too cold to run around with no pants on. I am investing in some fitted cloth nappies with velcro fasteners so I can do a quick change without asking him to hold still while I fuss with pins - but at $25 a nappy, I can only afford two a fortnight. I have a hemp fleece one which is great for night-time and two different brands of bamboo ones are on the way. At least buying them piecemeal I get to try out a wide range of styles.

As time goes on, I will review them - and a pile more children's books - over at What Wombat, where I shall also try and write every Tuesday. This week's review is on the Fisher Price Link-a-doos Infant to Toddler Rocker.

Smart Habit Saturday

When I noticed the judge for Scribbit's WriteAway Competition this month, I was immediately intrigued by her blog name: The Lazy Organizer. Sounds like my kind of person, I thought... so even though I don't have time to add anything more to my reading list, I went for a look.

Luckily, the first post I bumped into was for Smart Habit Saturday. (Not that the rest of her blog isn't a good read, it's just that this is what I really need - even more than I need a genuine Alaskan Moose Candy dispenser.)

I had a whole post planned in my head about traditions, and what kinds of traditions I want to start for Wombat, and how such things have to become a habit for me before they can be a tradition for him (little things, like remembering to say grace before meals)... but then my mind started overflowing with all the habits I really needed to be working on. I started to feel overwhelmed, so I got out the calendar, and wrote down one for each Saturday. I now have new habits planned to work on every week for the next three months!

The thing is, I know this works. Concentrating on one thing at a time means you can actually put some effort into it without being distracted - or it becoming a distraction from the other things you must do. Before you know it, it becomes second nature and you don't have to think about it any more. Getting up early to study is a good example. At first it took a lot of effort. Now I actually enjoy it. This morning, I even woke up at 2:50 am, ready to go - 10 minutes before my alarm went off!!!

Which brings me to my first Smart HABIT (as Lara at The Lazy Organizer explains, S.M.A.R.T. stands for "Saving Money, Associations, Resources and Time". I need to do all those things, but to begin with, there is a most important resource that needs looking after. My body.

My first smart habit is:

1. EXERCISE

All my life (or at least for as long as I have been aware) I have deplored my mother's habit of pushing herself to get things done - working on without taking time to look after her physical needs. When she was young it wasn't a problem, but now, at just over 60, she is facing hip surgery and is in constant agony from her back. Despite this, she keeps doing what she has always done and nothing changes. (She is a cake decorator, so her work involves long hours bent over a table with nothing moving but her fingers.... hmmm... not unlike someone who works constantly at a computer...)

The thing is, this tendency must be heriditary, because I am turning out to be just as bad. I sink myself into my work, and hours pass by without me moving. (I am including all computer time under the title 'work' there - but I should admit much of it is play - blog reading, website building, other writing, editing photographs - however, that is a topic for another habit some other Saturday - except that if I spend too much time playing & too little time working, I am even less inclined to take time off to exercise, as I have too much catching up to do...) Despite my good start this morning, I have now been sitting at the computer for two hours, have not opened a law book, have certainly not exercised, have not thought about my posture and have not even gotten around to putting my slippers on - I am sitting here in bare feet and it is 5 degrees celsius.

This year is proving to be worse than normal, due to my increased workload, and the fact that I am busy with Wombat the rest of the time, so I can't just go for a long walk or hop on the elliptical whenever I feel like it (which admittedly wasn't all that often anyway.) There are so many things I need want to get done... who has time to exercise???

The answer, spoken very firmly to myself, must be "MAKE TIME OR ELSE".

I am overweight and unfit. My posture is terrible. I need to do something about it asap, or my most important resource (me) will not last my lifetime.

I have pulled out my elastic home gym for stretching & isometric exercise and will use that for warm-ups, and then I will hop on the elliptical and cycle as fast as I can for 5 minutes. I aim to start by doing this once every hour as a study break, and hopefully increase to every half hour once it becomes a habit.

Being a glutton for punishment, I am even going to take Ulysses out with me & read while I cycle ;) may as well get a mental and physical workout at the same time (and hopefully finish the darn thing some time this year)! I will report back on my progress and list a new habit to work on next Saturday. (As Lara points out, it takes 21 days for something to become a habit, so I don't expect instant results... but having publically declared my intentions, and having to review my progress & report back each week should help keep me on track towards my goals.)

In case I needed more incentive - when I was 14 I had an operation on my knee... lately, that knee has been going to sleep or getting painful pins and needles after I have been working for a few hours... my attempts to get the blood flowing to it again at least allow me to bring you this pretty photo - so now I have no excuse at all not to make exercise a habit - there's even a blue moon!

Today is a good day to start making a brand new ending.